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Attitude Of Mother-in-law Towards Daughter-in-law As A Determinant Factor In Marital Stability In Some Selected Families
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The
mother-in-law/daughter-in-law impasse is a tragedy, dividing women who
have much in common, and who could benefit from one another’s
friendship. It causes great unhappiness to mother-in-law, who feels her
overtures of friendship are rebuffed, and who fear their connection with
their son and grandchildren may be threatened by the daughter’s-in-law
hostility. It causes distress to the daughter-in-law, who feels judged
and pressured, particularly on matters involving her role as a woman in
the family (Apter, 1991).
Simmel (1955) made another important point
by stressing that both conflict and cooperation are ways human beings
relate to each other. When there is conflict between the wife and the
mother-in-law, this should not create a rift if there is effective
communication between the two. If information is shared between the two
women at all times as necessary, there will be an understanding of self
which will create a positive attitude by the wife towards the
mother-in-law.
Communication is the key to any friendship especially
with the one woman in the world who loves your husband as much as you
do. After investing 18 years or more of her life in this man, she’s
unprepared for him to “disappear†into the world you two create.
Beginning the habit of communication with your mother-in-law can be as
easy as responding to her efforts hence the study.
1.2 THEORETICAL BACKGROUND
Social
psychologists like Kurt Lewin (1947) define a close relationship as a
relatively long-lasting relationship in which two people interact
frequently and engage in a variety of mutual activities and in which the
impact of their interactions is strong. There are many different types
of close relationships. Closeness may occur in friendships, work
relationships and family relationships.
Social exchange theory
postulates that interpersonal relationships are governed by perceptions
of the rewards and costs exchanged in interactions. According to this
theory, interactions between acquaintances, friends, lovers and in-laws
are likely to continue as long as the participants feel that the
benefits they derive from the relationship are reasonable in comparison
to the costs (Kelley & Thibaut, 1978).
Scholars have
conceptualized social change in multiple ways. Social science scholars
of communication focus on persuasion, including how beliefs, attitudes,
and/or behaviours in a society are created, modified, or reinforced
(O’Keefe, 1990). To bring change, persuasion scholars have grappled with
filling what is called the KAP gap- that is, the gap between an
individual’s knowledge, attitudes, and practices (Rogers, Vaughan,
Swalehe, Rao, Svenkerud, & Sood 1999).
Reciprocity involves
liking those who show that they like us. In general, it does appear that
liking breeds liking and loving (Byrne & Murnen, 1988). Studies
suggest that we like people more when they give us positive evaluations
that match our self-concepts as opposed to positive evaluations that
contradict our self-concepts (Berscheid, 1985; Shrauger, 1976).
To
George Simmel (1950), reciprocity was the stuff of everyday life. He
observed how people give to each other, receive from each other and take
from each other. One person acts, the other reacts, and the actions and
attitudes of each. Levine et all 1976, says “all human interactions
should be viewed as kinds of exchangeâ€. He thus laid the ground work for
the sociological approach that has come to be known as exchange theory
(Simmel, 1950).
Attribution theory tries to explain human behaviour.
Heider (1958) was the first to propose a psychological theory of
attribution, but Weiner and colleagues (Jones et al, 1972;
Weiner, 1986) developed a theoretical framework that has become a
major research paradigm of social psychology. Heider (1958) discussed
what he called ‘naive’ or ‘commonsense’ psychology. In his view, people
were like amateur scientists, trying to understand other people’s
behaviour by piecing together information until they arrived at a
reasonable explanation or cause.
Attribution theory is concerned with
how individuals interpret events and how this relates to their thinking
and behaviour. Attribution theory assumes that people try to determine
why people do what they do. A person seeking to understand why another
person did something may attribute one or more causes to that behaviour.
According to Heider (1958) a person can make two attributions:
1.
Internal attribution: the inference that a person is behaving in a
certain way because of something about the person, such as attitude,
character or personality.
2. External attribution: the inference
that a person is behaving a certain way because of something about the
situation he or she is in.
Our attributions are also significantly
driven by our emotional and motivational drives. Blaming other people
and avoiding personal recrimination are very real self-serving
attributions. We will also make attributions to defend what we perceive
as attacks.
Attribution theory can be applied to the mother-in-law
and daughter-in-law relationship. The daughter-in-law who already has a
stereotyped idea of dealings between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law
will be biased in her interaction with her mother-in-law. Any occasion
to attribute behaviour to the stereotype will be an opportunity to
portray the mother-in-law in a bad light. The mother-in-law is not free
from such set ideas about her daughter-in-law. For instance,
mothers-in-law believe the wives want to displace them totally out of
their son’s life as soon as they are married. If the wife should exhibit
any behaviour which threatens the mother-in-law, this will be seen as
an affront and attributed to the typical behaviour of wives and no
deeper reflection would be entertained to see if there is an unseen
reason for that behaviour.
Attitude is a hypothetical construct that
represents an individual’s like or dislike for an item (Jung, 1966).
Attitudes are positive, negative or neutral views of an ‘attitude
object’, that is, a person, behaviour or event. People can also be
‘ambivalent’ towards a target, meaning that they simultaneously possess a
positive and a negative bias towards the attitude in question.
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ABSRACT - [ Total Page(s): 1 ]This study investigated the influence of communication on attitude towards mother-in-law among female married adults in Lagos Metropolis.In carrying out the study, four null hypotheses were postulated to provide direction. The study consisted of one hundred randomly selected samples. The instrument used for data collection was a self-designed questionnaire by the researcher of a 4 point Likert format. Both one-way Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) and Independent t-test Statistical Techniques were us ... Continue reading---
