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Attitude Of Mother-in-law Towards Daughter-in-law As A Determinant Factor In Marital Stability In Some Selected Families
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1.3 STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
The
modern couple sees marriage solely as an integration of two
individuals-just the husband and the wife. That seems to be the modern
perception of a marriage. When the modern couple gets married, they
often forget that it is not just a relationship between the two of them
that has begun, but the relationship between the husband’s family, no
matter how large, and the wife’s family, no matter how large. Problems
somehow arise from this modern but much distorted perception of a
marriage, because based on it; in-laws do not play important roles.
Thus, brothers-in-law are not treated as brothers, sisters-in-law are
not treated as sisters and mother-in-law is not treated as mother. When
this happens, the relationship has begun on a wrong footing (Duval,
1954).
This is why in some societies, marital partners are chosen
based on parental arrangements and there is a restriction on the range
of acceptable partners along religious and class lines (Bumiller, 1989)
The
issue of mother-in-law has often times generated serious conflict
especially among female married adults. Most married women tend to
believe that their mother-in-law intrude into their family by ‘babying’
the son or presenting herself as weak and therefore be ‘mothered’ by the
son (Apter, 1990).
Also some mothers-in-law are perceived to be
overbearing, getting involved with the childcare of their grandchildren
and housework in their son’s home. Some wanted to be in charge and
expected to be treated as the head of the family even in their son’s
home. The wife is treated not as a daughter but as an outsider whilst
the son and all he represents is given a preference over and above what
the wife might desire.
A question to be raised is why
daughters-in-law are so sensitive to what they perceive as lapses in a
mother’s-in-law recognition of them. The answer may lie in the high
demands they put on the response of a mother figure. Indeed, the
touchiness or sensitivity often displayed by daughters-in-law to a
mother’s-in-law behaviour is close to that of an adolescent’s to her
mother (Apter, 1990). Many tensions, too, take place in the broader
context of the work/family dilemma that is etched into so many of these
women’s lives. They want to resist certain roles, but to protect others.
So both a mother-in-law deference within the home (through offers to
help) and her presumption of control within the home (playing hostess at
a family meal, commenting on and controlling young children’s
behaviour) are resented. However, a woman naturally have vested
interests in the well-being of her son and grandchildren; and when the
daughter-in-law perceives her remarks and behaviour within the home as
attempt to manipulate the daughter-in-law into her ‘proper place’, the
daughter-in-law perceptions may be accurate.
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ABSRACT - [ Total Page(s): 1 ]This study investigated the influence of communication on attitude towards mother-in-law among female married adults in Lagos Metropolis.In carrying out the study, four null hypotheses were postulated to provide direction. The study consisted of one hundred randomly selected samples. The instrument used for data collection was a self-designed questionnaire by the researcher of a 4 point Likert format. Both one-way Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) and Independent t-test Statistical Techniques were us ... Continue reading---
