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The Attitude Of Mother-in-law Towards Daughter-in-law As A Determinant Factor In Marital Stability
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The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law impasse has never
given birth to any good, dividing women who have much in common and who
could benefit from one another’s friendship. It causes great unhappiness
to mother-in-law, who feels her overtures of friendship are rebuffed,
and who fear their connection with their son and grandchildren may be
threatened by the daughter’s-in-law hostility. It causes distress to the
daughter-in-law, who feels judged and pressured, particularly on
matters involving her role as a woman in the family (Apter, 2011).
Interpersonal
communication is an integral part of human experience. Moreover,
interpersonal skills are highly relevant to adjustment, because they can
be critical to ones happiness and success in life. There is a need to
be aware that communication is very important between mother and
daughter in law and it can be effective or ineffective depending on what
transpires between the speaker and the hearer and care should be taken
not be an ineffective communication (Byng-Hall, 2008).
Simmel (1955)
made another important point by stressing that both conflict and
cooperation are ways human beings relate to each other. When there is
conflict between the wife and the mother-in-law, this should not create a
rift if there is effective communication between the two. If
information is shared between the two women at all times as necessary,
there will be an understanding of self which will create a positive
attitude by the wife towards the mother-in-law.
1.2 Statement of the Problem
Strained
relationship is often noticed in many extended families, to the extent
that daughter –in-laws often pray that they do not have mothers-in-law,
or they don’t want those ones that will live with them. This is often as
a result of the treat that mothers-in-law pose to regular running of
the family. According to Ilumoye (2011), a lot of homes have been broken
as a result of family (mother in law) interference into marriage.
A
question to be raised is why daughters-in-law are so sensitive to what
they perceive as lapses in a mother’s-in-law recognition of them. The
answer may lie in the high demands they put on the response of a mother
figure. Indeed, the touchiness or sensitivity often displayed by
daughters-in-law to a mother’s-in-law behaviour is close to that of an
adolescent’s to her mother (Apter, 2010). Many tensions, too, take place
in the broader context of the work/family dilemma that is etched into
so many of these women’s lives.
The modern couple sees marriage
solely as an integration of two individuals-just the husband and the
wife. That seems to be the modern perception of a marriage. When the
modern couple gets married, they often forget that it is not just a
relationship between the two of them that has begun, but the
relationship between the husband’s family, no matter how large, and the
wife’s family, no matter how large. Problems somehow arise from this
modern but much distorted perception of a marriage, because based on it;
in-laws do not play important roles. Thus, brothers-in-law are not
treated as brothers, sisters-in-law are not treated as sisters and
mother-in-law is not treated as mother. When this happens, the
relationship has begun on a wrong footing (Duval, 2004).
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ABSRACT - [ Total Page(s): 1 ]This had been an attempt to investigate the attitude of mother-in-law towards daughter-in-law as a determinant factor in marital stability, in carrying out this study,Questionnaire on the Attitude of Mother-in-law towards Daughters-in-law as a Determinant of Marital Stability (QAMDDMS) was developed and percentage, mean and chi-square at 0.05 level of significant were used to test the hypotheses. The results of the study show that the communication patterns of daughter-in-law from different cult ... Continue reading---
