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Psycho-social Factors Influencing Marital Instability
CHAPTER ONE -- [Total Page(s) 5]
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Due to economic hardship from complex
economies/societies, spousal's attachment seems to be declining on a
daily basis. Most women complain of their spouse being unresponsive to
some of their basic needs, not given them equal right to decision making
and other important areas that has to do with both partners. Some of
the presumed causes of these factors include; stress, giving more time
to work over relationship, sexual dysfunction amongst others, and the
effects of these on women includes; change in attitude and behaviour,
engaging in more social activities and finally holding onto certain
marital issues which could further lead to the disintegration of the
marriage. It is of great importance to first of all understand that the
attachment pattern of any individual originates from the type of
attachment pattern that has been adopted in the early stages of
childhood, that is, between a child and a primary care giver (parents).
These early parental care experiences then gives rise to an internal
working model of oneself and others, which form a basis for generating
expectations about future relationships and provide a context for
interpreting what happens in those relationships (Bowlby, 1973). Having
discussed the types of attachment pattern in the introduction, the two
sub categories of attachment pattern in women that can give rise to
marital instability, are the avoidant attachment pattern and the
ambivalent attachment pattern. Women within these attachment pattern
often possess ‘I don't care’ attitudes; feelings of what other people
are of emotionally concerned about, is usually of no importance to women
under these categories. Thus, this is to say that early attachment have
a profound effect on people's relationships throughout their entire
lives.
One major problem women often battle in marriage is their
parental marital background. The background of several women in marriage
contributes immensely to the success and failure of many marriages in
Nigeria today as a person's parental marital background is where the
moral lesson and social behaviours of life are being learnt and
emulated. Most behaviours and attitudes of women in marriages today are
as a result of how their mother or father behaved or how either of them
solved certain life situations in the past and also; the way of life of
this parents. Some research has also shown that most women whose parent
had experienced divorce or marital instability also have the probability
of going through the same. Though individuals have a choice of which
lifestyle they would love to emulate and which not to.
Parental
marital instability as part of a person's family background, is
something that affects most women without them being aware of its
prevalence and how it shapes their interaction with spouse. Most women
whose parents had problems with their marriages are most times trying to
be careful not to experience the same. Now, in the cause of avoiding
marital breakup, they either become tolerant, intolerant, too reactive
or slow to react to certain behaviours from their husband, as life as
placed a stigma of fear of the unknown in their psyche. It is from a
person's family background, cultures and tradition are passed from
parents to offspring; fear and confidence are instilled into the way we
relate with people; lifestyles and personalities of a parent one has
more affection for is being inculcated into our day to day way of life.
Problems therefore arise when a spouse is in conflict with the other's
belief system of their parental marital background, which affects their
psyche and influences their interaction with their spouse and could
therefore result to marital instability.
Diversity in culture and
tradition is more of the reason why most women prefer their husband’s
in-laws, parents and so on to stay away from their marriage. But this is
not tosay this is exactly why some women discourage in-law or parental
involvement in their marriages, as there are some other reasons
responsible for this. Women often feel there is the tendency of their
husband's in-laws making certain decisions or enforcing laws on their
husbands most especially
when they are seen as one big family. Some
in-law's even go to the extent of coming over to the husband's house
every weekends to see if the husband is being treated well, fed well and
respected by the wife; some even go to the point of organizing family
meetings all in the name of ensuring a peaceful home. Couple's often
place a higher priority on their relationship with their marital
partners and individuate/differentiate with some of the close
attachments that they may have formed with parents, children, siblings
and relatives(Bowen, 1978; Bray 1995; Mace 1989).
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